Floating aimlessly in space

This was how I felt the last weekend, when it finally dawned at me why I was in such a weird mood those last months. Because guess what, I've reached all of my goals I had so far. What goals?

Well, the biggies:

• Abitur (german version of the A-Levels) - check
• Vocational training - check
• Academic studies (Diplom-Wirtschaftsingenieurin (FH)) - check
• A well-paid job that I like and excel in - check
• A nice flat - check
• A washing machine - check
• Triathlon - not interested anymore therefore crossed off my goal list

Without realizing it I had reached my goals and I didn't know what to do with myself. Especially after work in the evenings, I'd come home and didn't know what to do with myself. Even watching "Friends" and "Big Bang Theory" had become stale. 

So, I used my weekend to ponder this and I came up with a new "big goal", which incidentally had already been there all along. Funny how things work out. And no, I don't want kids! 

Anyway, I feel centered again and that's exactly what I needed. 

Do you have goals?

Concentrating on the bigger picture - A photographic illustration

For years I've been concentrating on the details, shutting out the big picture. The reason? I felt like I could control the minutiae, but not the big picture. However, yesterday I realized, that I got lost in the details and through that destroyed the big picture I've been trying to create. (Well, this realization had already been simmering under the surface for quite a while. It often surfaced when I pondered my skin troubles. But I didn't fully realize that it encompasses all other areas of my life too.)

For example I did this with my skin, obsessing over blackheads but not getting the overall skin care dialed in. The daily "end" result: "Streuselkuchen"-Skin (no, this isn't medical term). Same goes for my drawings, obsessing over little mistakes, that won't be recognized, until you take a magnifying glass. Food? Same story. Applications? What do you think?

So, yesterday I've decided to concentrate on the big picture instead of the minutiae.

This is the reason for this series of photographs they illustrate this journey from the minutiae (not even seeing the water because of all the weeds) to the big picture (the open sea of possibilities or in this case the open lake, the Neusiedler Lake in Austria to be exact). I think I'm currently somewhere

in between. Not completely free, but I can see my way and more, the weeds are on the sidelines, but sometimes still getting in the way. It is as Mark Twain said: “A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”

Do you fall into the minutiae trap sometimes? How do you get out?

Happy New Year!

I wish all of you and your loved ones a fantastic new year. Let's make it an awesome year, filled with love, fun, laughter and beautiful moments abound.

As you probably haven't noticed I haven't been blogging for a week. The reason? I needed time to recover and sleep and finishing up and throwing out and reminisce over and plan for and just "be" in general. So the last week was still quite full with stuff to do and I didn't get it all done, but that's just fine with me, I'll do the stuff in the upcoming weeks.

Epiphanies occured more then once last week. The first I had at 0:15 AM in the tram home from work last Tuesday. Wonderful isn't it? Nothing like a tram ride at midnight for finding about more about oneself. What it was? I am now ready to finally move from being an observer to being a doer/maker/creator. I think I have been an observer for most of my life and while I knew for quite a while that I had to take things into my own hands, I wasn't ready to make the change just then. Now I am.

I'm actually moving my own life into a direction that I want. I think the reason why I was an observer for so long, was that I didn't know what I wanted. But last year I've finally have come to terms with myself and have developed my very own set of goals, I've even written them down. And the funny thing is, having goals makes everything else quite easy! Suddenly I'm much more focused with everything. I just love it.

So as one of my goals is to develop my artwork and most importantly drawing skills (I've tried to draw Alice's Cheshire Cat last week. Tim Burton would probably have a heartattack seeing this awful mess I drew!) I have come up with an art project for 2012: The SVA - 366 - Postcard - Project. Now the idea is more or less stolen from other people around the world, such as Mike Winkelman, also known as Beeple.He's been doing such a thing now for more than 1700 consecutive days. Which is amazing. So in my case this means I will draw (at least) one postcard per day and I will post all of them on the San's Visual Art-366-Blog. We'll see how this works out.*

Doodle 15.3.2011-1

Another realization of this week was that I actually have fully transitioned from tomboy to woman this last year. Meaning I just feel weird wearing hooded sweaters and badly or non-fitting clothes. This is HUGE, at least for me. During the last weeks I had to wear wide old jeans and hooded sweaters for work. I'm sooo glad this is over and I'm back to my now normal clothes. The move from tomboy-ish attire to womanly clothing took me almost three years.

There is more to come, but the year is long and so I leave you to your hopefully not too bad hangover from your New Year's Eve party.

CHEERS.


* I have my doubts that I will actually pull through, but who knows? I just might have changed soo much, that I actually might end up really drawing a card every day of this year.